She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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