Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
