you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
