Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
