Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
