Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
