clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
