Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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