just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
