my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
