Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
