D3 body, D1 cock
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
