could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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