she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just gift wrapped bread.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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