If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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