On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
where are you?
Hypothermia
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
