I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
