wrigley field is MILF paradise
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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