Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize