I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
