your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
