i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
