It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
