I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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