I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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