Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
