Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
