Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
