my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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