The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
