My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
This is my gift to your gina
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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