smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
it was like eating out sand paper
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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