He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
