Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm passing your future prison.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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