Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
