the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
