fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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