i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I want a musical about memes.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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