Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just found a bag of teeth...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i think im in europe. pls send help
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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