i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
