There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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