the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We are two peas in an std pod
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
