If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
