If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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