I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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