Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
