I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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