she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
