It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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