After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize