pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
