Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
