Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
