So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
it's like heaven, but drunker
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
