it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
