I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
