I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
3 2 1 whiskey
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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