her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
